Monster Pet Peeve…

Monster, CareerBuilder, HotJobs…the entire IT recruiting industry is becoming a pet peeve of mine. Ok, maybe that is a little harsh, not the entire industry, but a significant portion has begun to join the ranks of irksome things with me. Like any other self respecting technical engineering types out there I have kept an updated resume on several job boards and watched the trends in my career field. There have always been quirks to using an online job board. The usual data mining and massive inhale of everyone’s resume by some corporate entity (hey look! I posted my resume last night and I have 1,277 hits already..I must be popular and in demand!….not!) still occurs. I still receive a few automated job agents and browse the boards just to track and see the trends of skills desired as well as regions of activity, recently though I have been experiencing greater annoyance by recruiters. Here’s why…

Wait wait, let me preface first with a blanket “this is my opinion and I know that not all technical recruiters are like this and there are many hard working dynamically capable determined recruiters” statement so I don’t send anyone to counseling. However! It appears two major shifts have occurred in the recruiting world. Firstly, there appears to be a complete LACK of preliminary review of resumes anymore. By golly, if the data miner snagged the resume based on a few key words then the individual must be the ideal candidate! What happened to actually reviewing the candidate before contacting them? I used to be Cisco certified but due to scopes and positions that I was hired for I ended up drifting away from a network centric career and thus have let my cert expire. No need to keep testing for something I don’t use. I still list it under education as it is a technical accomplishment. Hey it shows I’m a determined fellow who has foundations. Cisco is still a hot commodity out there I guess because I get at least 2-3 calls and 4-5 emails per day about network engineering positions driving MPLS, VOIP and layer 3 architectures. Ummmmm other then listing something in my education no where on my currently deployed resume do I say or reflect any major activity in the past 3 years with Cisco equipment, let alone MPLS or VOIP information. Here is how the phone call goes:

Me: Hello?

Recruiter: Hi, may I speak with Me?

Me: Speaking

Recruiter: Great, I’m with such’n’such conglomerate recruiting entity and do I have a position for you! Are you available?

Me: I’m always interested in hearing about potential opportunites…whatcha got?

Recruiter: I have this super swell position for 30/60/90 days. We need a candidate who has 7 years running Cisco MPLS networks as well as VOIP and VPN firewalls…sound like you?

Me: Well, I have run Cisco networks before, and I do have a solid history of VPN and firewall experience, but I’m not experienced in MPLS and VOIP. I didn’t represent that either on my resume.

Recruiter: Oh, hmmm, well do you know anyone who does and might be interested? If you do, could you send me their information or have them call me? Oh and could you send me a current resume that we can keep on file?

After other pleasantries (I don’t try to purposefully be rude often) I politely decline and end the call. Reality check please…NO I will not do your job for you. NO I will not send you an updated resume. Why should I do your work when you have not even performed your homework and given me the courteousy to at least skim that which you drafted from a job board. Argh.

The other type of conversation now has shifted to this:

Me: Hello?

Recruiter: <insert strong Pakistani accent> Oh hello, may I be speaking please with uh, um, uh *rustling paper* <insert name>

Me: *rolling eyes…thinking I need to hit numero dos to select an alternate language* Speaking.

Recruiter: Oh hello, my name is “Bob” *rolling eyes again stiffling a “yeah right”* and are you currently worker eligible in the United States?

Me: What type of position are you calling for?

Recruiter: Yes yes, we can speak to this…*turning page again*, are you eligible to consider a 30/60/90 day contract in California?

Me: Possibly, what type of position are you calling me about?

Recruiter: Yes yes, we can speak to this, now Mr. <insert name> how much would you be requiring for to work?

Me: You haven’t told me anything about the position. What is it you are asking me to apply for?

Recruiter: Yes, um, yes we do have an excellent benefits package. Are you eligible to work in the United States?

I’ll stop right here. He/she then romps into the conversation about how they need a Java developer with significant experience in C++ and API instructions. Again, no where in my resume do I post anything about being a developer nor do I have a developer’s background in education. How does managing Tomcat services stretch to Java development? To be honest I think I would much rather prefer an angry cat gnawing at my shin then feel like I am on the phone with Dell’s tech support. I almost feel like at some point during the conversation they will stop and ask me if I have cleared my cookies and cache before they get to the job description.

Maybe I’m just a little grumpy today. I can admit I’m tired from working on a current project and other things going on in my life, but has anyone else felt this frustration or is feeling it currently? I hear folks making excuses for the recruiting types. “They are under deadlines…they have to make quotas…they only make money on placing a candidate”. So?! I’m under deadlines. I have to achieve certain objectives at my job. Why do we as humans have the tendency when under a deadline to engage in sloppy and weak-minded work? Why am I expected to tolerate their laziness?

The main thing is I recognize that this won’t change any time soon. I long since realized (well my opinion from personal experience and talking with others in my industry) that a great deal of jobs posted out there are honeypots…meaning companies are data mining…and probably don’t have as many jobs out there as posted. I imagine it is with as with everything in life…the money. It is far cheaper to post with a board and pay a member fee to a recruiting firm then to stock an HR department with an adequately sized recruiting staff. Again, I’m not bitter, and have had positive experiences with recruiters before with job placement (twice -strike that…technically once…the other was internal from an HR department), but on the up and up, I am seeing a downward trend in quality and types of recruiters. I’ve pulled my resume from most of the job boards…easier to do it the old fashioned way when searching for a job…knock on the door.

~Kryptikos

Proverbs 10:4 “Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth”